My daughter is the one who actually gets this the best. There are many times when I find myself in a situation where the environment is an acoustical nightmare and/or the person speaking is a “soft talker” or maybe has an accent of some sort and I have no clue what he or she is saying. I might have missed altogether that this person was even speaking to me. When my daughter was younger she used to accompany me on “errand day” and she’s the one that seemed to really get my limitation the best and how to step up and ‘be my ears’ when needed. I love that I didn’t have to teach her this or explain it even; she just “got it”.
I am always willing to ask someone to repeat themselves if I missed it, someone I don’t know (like a cashier or floor sales associate at a store), I am even willing to ask a second time (which means it’s the speaker’s third repetition – yeah, I saw you wince). But after that if I still didn’t understand, I tend to turn to whoever is with me and give him or her “the look”. The look that clearly shows confusion, along with a dash of frustration and implicitly asks – “What the heck did he/she say?” As I said, my daughter had this down. She would see that look in my eyes and automatically step into her “interpreter” mode and quickly fill in the blanks for me. If I had failed to mention to the speaker that I was hearing impaired (Oops!), she would usually state that immediately, as well. This would usually smooth the ruffled feathers of the speaker.
What’s amusing to me these days, now that my daughter has moved out of the nest, is that since she was so good at it, I often make the mistake of thinking that anyone who happens to be my companion in a given situation, whether that is my husband, or my mom, perhaps a co-worker or friend, automatically understands this need and knows how to respond appropriately to “the look”. Mostly they look back at me with “What?” I recently went on a mini-vacation with my mother. I explained what I was doing when I was looking at her so expectantly. We laughed about it later when, even though I had just explained my need, that she had completely dropped the ball when we found ourselves in a situation (noisy restaurant) and I gave her “the look”. It dawned on her about thirty seconds after the server had walked away. She turned to me and said, “I blew it, didn’t I? You gave me “the look”, and I completely missed it.” I laughed and agreed that yeah, she completely missed it, but that I could do a better job of just asking for help.
Most of us hate asking for help, it’s a human condition trait, I believe. These days, I am taking the time to educate the rest of my family and friends on recognizing that I might need their help in acoustically challenging situations, and also learning to do a better of job of just speaking up to my current companion, and clearly stating that I have no idea what was said and could he (or she) fill me in so I am able to respond appropriately.
Who knows, maybe you have a hearing impaired person in your circle who gives you “the look” and you had no idea what it was about – now you know. 🙂